Poems Across Universes
by Greensleeves89
Summary: Song fic. Bad Wolf was coming home, home to her Oncoming Storm. Now, finally after all this time there she was. His Rose. Here with him now. The universes are cruel and it seemed that they were determined to keep them apart. Ten/Rose.
1. Chapter 1

_Unbidden shadows of you formed yesterday_

No matter how hard he tried he could not stop thinking about her. She consumed his thoughts at any given time. Part of him was unsure if he really wanted to stop the thoughts or if they provided some sort of minimal comfort.

He'd just shut the doors to the TARDIS after dropping Donna off back home. She had invited him to dinner, but he needed to be alone. His grief was interrupted by the greater need to save the Earth, and now he needed time to sit and mourn for his loss. The loss of his one and only love. It was Christmas, and he should have known that it would never be quiet. He'd actually forgotten how close Christmas had snuck up on him. His first one without _her_. Sure he'd had other Christmases alone…but to have one without her…it didn't feel right. Who was going to hold his hand now?

He felt the TARDIS probe his mind and attempted to offer her love. He touched the center console and he felt the link increase. She missed her too, and he could tell she was grieving just as badly as he was.

He leaned against the console and ran his left hand through his messy hair. It was eerily quiet in the TARDIS now. He couldn't hear her laughing down the hall. He smiled at the thought. When he first brought her aboard, it had felt so long ago now and he a different man now, he warned her the TADRIS could be a bit finicky and to simply go along. She had given him a puzzled look and left to explore. She had chosen a room and went to explore again. She thought she had remembered the correct way back, but the TARDIS had different ideas and liked to switch the halls around. He had simply thought that that was the way the TARDIS liked to test his new companions. So often they had complained to him to do something, intervene on their behalf. And he did, if they asked, he did. Inwardly he found it amusing.

He remembered sitting underneath the console at the time, tinkering away when she reappeared. So long and a regeneration ago, now.

'The rooms have changed!' she had said. She had crouched down to see him. He remembered sitting up and smiling. That daft old face.

'She does that, to everyone. Don't know why. Best to accept it.'

'I'll figure it out, I'll get better,' She had smiled and stood up. 'Just you wait!' And off she went. The TARDIS made a small sound that he interpreted as a challenge. He had her heard her laughing down the hall, obvious that the TARDIS had switched things on purpose that time.

He felt the TARDIS in his mind again telling him that was when she had instantly liked her. Her determination. But then the link went silent.

He headed down the hall towards his own room. He needed to feel safe. Usually safe was with her, ironically. After all she was the most jeopardy friendly companion he'd ever had.

But as he headed towards his own room, he had passed hers and he stopped dead. The TARDIS apologized profusely for not moving it fast enough but he simply put his hand on the wall in a feeble attempt to comfort her. He couldn't continue to avoid it.

Slowly he turned his gaze back to the door. Photos covered the door in organized chaos and he had smiled. So many memories, she had both his ninth and tenth regenerations, the ninth version of him didn't seem to be all that camera friendly, never looking directly at the camera but there were lots of her and Jack. Jealously still stabbed at him when he thought of them together. But as many as there were of Jack and her, there were more of him and her. Often he was looking at her, as she smiled for the camera. The one he could find of him looking at the device she had her eyes closed, kissing his cheek.

Memories flooded back so quickly he stumbled back, and he needed to leave. Again he began the journey to his own room.

It had been hours; it felt like, since he had sat in the chair off to the corner of the room. Why did it hurt so much? Why couldn't he stop from hurting?

_I ran away to a room here on the bay_

His thoughts were consumed to their last moments together. It hurt to remember her face, how broken she was, how devastating the blow came when he told her that she could never see him again. How he couldn't step through the crack and hug her, comfort her and tell her it was going to be ok. But she had her family there to comfort her and tell her it would be ok. Inwardly he knew, knew that he was also her family. Home, for her, was not in this strange parallel universe but with him. Travelling to wherever, but as long as they were together. And that's what he told her, he'd go on. Pretend it didn't hurt him as much as it did. He had hoped it would soften the burden she had to bear. Last of the Time Lords; go on travelling and saving the universes. But he knew she wanted to be there, to help him.

Donna had told him he needed someone. Someone to help control the anger that could build so quickly and he knew she was right. The Oncoming Storm was something that so utterly consumed him and it was so hard to bring him back from the edge.

Then his attention turned back to his Rose. How she confessed her love to him. He did too; from the moment he saw her and told her to run. But it had also scared him. He was afraid to love again. To open his hearts. For so long they had closed off to the affection of others. His hearts had been turned to stone and then buried in thick ice. He thought he'd never be able to feel a love like he'd known back on Gallifrey. But she was so utterly accepting of him, all his faults. Just so damned accepting. So why couldn't he tell her before this day, when the universes fought to keep them apart. He blamed the simple two minutes he had left. There was so much he wanted to tell her. Before she admitted her love, he was afraid to tell her. What if she had said no? But he knew she wouldn't have. So why didn't he tell her? Was it fear? She had promised him forever but both knew that it wasn't possible. She couldn't. She was human and he was a Time Lord. And he had told her. It would hurt him to watch that happen to someone he-…

He couldn't tell her then either. But he did love her. But he couldn't say it. Why couldn't he vocalize it? Even when he was ready to finally tell her, the universes laughed at him and closed the gap forever. Forever…

_Interrupted life again, another new beginning_

_Where the silence echoes you're no longer with me_

Life was slowly starting to have normalcy returning to it. He had to keep busy because if he didn't, it hurt. Any slight chance there was aliens involved he was there. Keeping so busy so he didn't have to hurt.

Then he met Martha, a doctor. Imagine that. This was it, another beginning; it's what he needed to move on. And they had had great adventures! Meeting Shakespeare, that was the one he was most proud of. How easily Shakespeare had seen through him. And meeting good queen Bess, well it was not the meeting he liked. Apparently he had done something he didn't remember doing. Hadn't happened yet…

He liked Martha sure, but he could tell she wanted more, he noticed the way she looked at him. When he would talk about Rose she looked so sad. When he mentioned that Rose would know how to solve the mystery involving the Globe Theater, Martha looked defeated. When they were running from The Family, and he showed her the sketch of Rose in the Journal of Impossible Things, she looked heartbroken. Even the human John Smith couldn't forget her. She had had a major impact on him.

Still, after Martha had gone to sleep and he remained the TARDIS console room, he'd think about her. The silence deafening. He'd remember when they would sit on the only chair provided, reminiscing about the day's events, laughing. How she would eventually get tired and fall asleep on him. His arm around her shoulders, drawing her closer. And the TARDIS dimming the lights, knowing full well that he wouldn't sleep but know that Rose appreciated it. And sometimes he did, just to stay close to her. To savor the moment.

_Here and now, I feel that I'm embracing freedom_

_Even though I may be alone, but that's ok_

It didn't mean that he didn't care for his other companions. It may have not been in the same way as he did for Rose but he always cared about them. When Martha was taken in New New York he would stop at nothing to find her, because he was responsible for her. And he was determined not to lose another companion. He would always keep them safe, always.

And then, as he and Martha moved more into a routine, he noticed that he was beginning to think of her less and less. It didn't mean that he had forgotten, how could he? But he knew he had to move on. He had known that the TARDIS had slowly begun to accept that she would never return and he was slowly starting to accept it with her. Every time he sought to think of her as a fond memory and not at the one goal he couldn't obtain, it freed his mind more. Making it easier to go on. But he still noticed that he didn't feel the connection with Martha as he did with Rose. The thing that did surprise him however, was the ease in which he had discussed Gallifrey to her. He had always wanted to talk about it to Rose, why didn't he? Did he forget? He wanted to share it with her, on many occasions. Describing it to Martha allowed for him to release a sense of guilt over what he did, taking more steps towards the freedom of forgiving himself.

Still, at night, in the console room, he was alone. And he thought of her, always her. He was alone, in a sense. That was fine, he had made another friend and he knew that's what Rose would have wanted. For him not to be alone. And he was ok with that, for now.

_Through the darkness I would walk in the streets_

_Confessions never seemed to provide me with a release_

And yet, when he had time to himself, he would wander. Sometimes, as Martha slept, he would land the TARDIS somewhere and walk the streets in the dark. It helped to clear his head. He needed to accept the fact that there was nothing he could do. He could not bend the rules of the universe to reunite with her. He told himself over and over it couldn't be done. He had rules that he had to maintain. It was his duty. His head could grasp that idea but his hearts refused to accept it. He would not bend his own rules to retrieve someone in a parallel universe. He wouldn't allow two universes to collapse because he had a confession to reveal to her. She knew, at least he hoped she did. Humans were funny like that; they needed to hear those words for confirmation. Actions were not enough for them.

_Held me down and tried to cure me tried to give me reason_

_But nothing could separate this burdened mind from me_

Martha did her best to try and replace Rose, he knew it and saw it in her actions. How quickly she fell for him. How desperately she wanted him to reciprocate her actions and feelings. But he couldn't, his hearts would always belong to her. Martha hoped that by replacing Rose; it would cure him of his internal loneliness. Desperately she tried. He imagined that she deducted that if she took Rose's spot he could move on, forget the past and accept his future. And quite quickly it was becoming awkward between them sometimes. But they had still had a great time together. Their adventures were brilliant. And she was smart, so clever, and so resourceful to figure out their problems when they were helping people.

But he ignored it, and tried his best to not lead her on. He didn't know what else to do. He tried to emotionally distance himself from her, hoping that it would help. But he relied on her just as he had with Rose, and he knew he shouldn't have. The truth was that he needed her. He needed someone with him. He was so lonely and he just finally had to accept it. He couldn't stand his own company for any length of time. If he was alone, he thought, thought about the past. It hurt to do that. However, even making this realization it didn't seem to help him any. His mind still clung to the past and he couldn't let it go. That's why he ran; running meant he didn't have to face it. Though now Rose was in the past, did he was to continually run from her?

_Here and now, I feel that I'm embracing freedom_

_Even though I may be alone, but that's ok_

And then Martha left. He was surprised, begged her to stay. She had just saved the world, how incredible she was! Amazed by her strength and resourcefulness, she truly was an amazing woman. Then he noticed her more, noticed how something had changed during the year that never was. Like she had lost a piece of her innocence, and that was something that could not be replaced. There was another revelation she made to him however. She couldn't wait. She couldn't wait any longer for him to notice her. Give her the same devotion he had for Rose. So she gather her strength and left because he knew that she deserved someone to dedicate their love to her. She deserved it and she was worth it. She had her own life to live and he accepted it couldn't be with him. She wanted her freedom.

As the TARDIS departed once again he looked around. So quiet once again. He headed towards his room needed time to process his next move. He asked the TARDIS to bring Rose's room to him, he wanted to see it and she obliged. He scanned the photos on her door to find the best. Carefully he took the one that showed him smiling at the camera and she kissing his cheek. Gingerly he held it in his hand and smiled. It didn't hurt as bad as it did the very first day. She was a joyous memory now. It freed him to know that while it still hurt to think of her, it brought him more joy. Slowly he headed to own room and went to the desk he had there. He grabbed a pen and turned the picture over, carefully he wrote her name down in the familiar Gallifreyan script. It made him smile and he carefully placed the picture on the table beside the bed.

It's ok now, if he was alone for a long time, it was ok. He had the best memories in the world to give him comfort.

_And looking out to a different sky will disengage me_

_Absence is never the answer, I know, but it serves as my shade_

All the places he visited with Donna he always looked at the sky. He would think about how Rose would have liked to see the things he saw, especially Pompeii. Again he found it liberating to look up and not feel the crippling anguish he once felt.

Donna asked when they met again if he had found his missing friend. For a moment it hurt, he hated having to explain what happened to her. Images would flash in his mind. How devastated she looked and when he thought about her pain it made him ache.

He knew that if he had the chance to find her, he would. But he knew that it couldn't happen. There would be no going back into time and was something he had accepted so long ago now.

Now he had adventures with Donna, that fiery red head. Again her words had come back to him. He needed someone. After allowing her to come she was so excited. He couldn't deny himself the pleasure that having companions brought him. When he confessed to her as she stood in the door of the TARDIS that things with Martha had complicated their relationship she had made a face. It was an odd one but it told him to go on. He confessed he wanted a mate, and she blew up. Misconstruing the meaning.

'You're not mating with me sunshine!' she declared. The though repulsed her. The look he gave was one of equal confusion. When they finally sorted out the miscommunication she was so happy to be allowed to travel with him. Her eagerness brought a smile to his face.

He enjoyed watching his companions grow as individuals and how their views changed him as well. She tried to make the world better by shouting at it. She was just as strong as the others. And he liked that. He deserved happiness, and denying himself companions was not the answer.

_I do not seek and do not intend to find_

The universes were funny, they really were. He had all but given up on the fact that he could never see her again.

When he had went to get Donna from the fortuneteller she was in a state of shock. What had happened? He had pressed her for information. Darkness was coming? What did that mean? A blonde had met her frequently? Could it be? Why couldn't he sense it? Then Donna widened had her eyes. She had been told to deliver a message to him. He had panicked, what did it mean? He had watched as she struggled to remember the message, looking at the ground trying to remember. All of a sudden her eyes had shot up at him. As she looked at him dead in the eyes she had stated the two most terrifying words he had ever heard. Bad Wolf. He remembered his hearts almost stopped and he ran outside. Everywhere, everywhere there they were. The two words. Bad Wolf. Plastered on posters, banners anything, everywhere surrounding him, engulfing him in fear. He had run to the TARDIS with Donna following behind him. It had to be impossible. Impossible! The walls were weakening…this was not good.

'Why don't you ask her yourself?' Confusion had spread across his face as he gaped at her. But she wasn't looking at him; her eyes were looking past him. Slowly he had turned around and looked at the figure off in the distance. There, even as the world was crumbling around them, there. He had stayed glued to his spot even as she began to run for him. Finally his head directed his feet to start running. Now, finally after all this time there she was. His Rose. Here with him now. The universes are cruel and it seemed that they were determined to keep them apart.

He remembered pain everywhere it hurt. But she was there holding him close he remembered her tears. The memories became intermittent after that. He didn't want to regenerate because he still had Rose to see. To hug. And she liked this form. Cassandra told her she did. And he heard it all. He remembered coming up with a plan before the regeneration took complete control. Things needed to be done. And they had a universe to save.

_A calmer ocean or a sun that never will rise_

He was a coward, always was and always would be. After dropping off all his companions he returned to the parallel universe, this was her home. He already had planned the next move, whether she liked it or not.

He remembered her face as she recognized where she was… Norway. Again. He remembered Jackie complaining about where they were but he couldn't take his eyes off her.

The ocean was calm this time; the wind was not blowing as wickedly as last time. It was as if the journey was concluding and nature was reflecting their hardships that they had endured. She was confused, he remained by the doors of the TARDIS with Donna, but the Meta Crisis version of himself followed Rose until she turned around. He told her that she couldn't come with her and again he watched her heart break. He tried to comfort her saying that the Meta Crisis was born during a war and had committed genocide, he couldn't be left to his own devices. Rose wanted to complain he could see her trying to form an argument but he hushed her. He told her that the Meta Crisis reminded him of his ninth incarnation when he met her. How damaged he was and how she had made him a better person. He watched at the clone version of him grabbed Rose's hand and he wished, prayed would have given anything to be the one holding her hand instead. He was tired, so tired of the universes laughing at his attempt to get her back. Nothing ever went right. Why? He talked his way out of it, said that the clone had the same memories, thoughts and feelings as he did. Again he remembered her mind thinking of an argument. Donna then told the Meta Crisis to tell her the other news. He did, he was human.

'I could spend it with you, if you like…' those spoken words broke his hearts. He desperately he wanted to be the one with Rose. She had walked closer to him and the Meta Crisis following her. Telling him, demanding of him, to finish the sentence he started on this very beach so long ago. It scared him. So many witnesses…once a coward always a coward. He couldn't, but he had wanted to. If he said it, she'd follow him, do whatever she could to find him. She wasn't accepting of the Meta Crisis, he wasn't _her _Doctor. She fought so hard to find him. She did and now he knew that she felt rejected. So she turned to the other version. All he did was whisper the words she so longed to hear and instantly she had kissed him.

He turned and left, it was too much to bear. In the end, the human had been braver than he could have ever hoped to be. He should take lessons from the humans. He thought he had learned from the emotions he felt as John Smith. But he didn't. Humans had such emotions that didn't always equate to anger as he did as the Oncoming Storm. They loved so fiercely, defended with their all and believed with all their might.

The TARDIS slowly faded away. The love of his life not by his side. The sun would never rise on their story again. He felt the TARDIS in his mind, devastated again. They did their best to comfort each other.

_My world will never change and time will bring you to my thoughts_

He was to die then. This was it, four knocks. That had started the beginning of the end. His song was ending. And it wasn't fair. Damn it all, it wasn't fair. He liked this body, loved it and now again, again it was not fair! He remembered his emotions as he looked at Wilf, why their connection mattered so. He was responsible for his death. And he flew into a rage. Wilf pleading to be forgotten and for him to leave. But he couldn't. He was a coward yes but not in situations like this.

He felt the radiation clawing at his system and he cried out from the pain. He thought of Rose to concentrate. How was she? Was she happy? Did she miss him as much as he missed her?

He stepped out humbled, Wilf congratulating him reassuring himself and him that he was ok. But he knew better. He wasn't that lucky. It was starting. What if he forgot her? No. He wouldn't let himself do that.

And the universes be damned, but he was going to collect his reward. Try to stop him this time he taunted silently.

_And I'll move on and then forget you all over again_

How beautiful even now. There she was, he saved her for last. Because he loved her, loved her forever. Oh, and her mother. But they parted ways and she was heading home. All he wanted was to watch but the pain became overbearing and he let out a small groan. She turned, his Rose.

'You alright mate?' she inquired, oh to hear her voice once again for the last time. Maybe the universes were ok after all.

'Ya…' he managed weakly, forcing himself to smile

'Bit too much to drink?' she inquired, her beautiful smile stayed in his mind

'Something like that…' it hurt so damned much but he wouldn't let his pain take this moment away from him.

'Maybe it's time you went home,' she had genuine concern in her eyes for his well-being. His Rose… He so desperately wanted to cup her face and apologize for all the pain that he brought her. She flashed him another beautiful smile and headed towards the Powell Estate

'What year is it?' he asked daringly, he just had to know. When she turned around she had a bemused look on her face.

'Blimey! How much have you had?' she asked jokingly. He maintained a serious exterior, willing himself through the pain. '2005, January 1.'

He smiled and nodded, again she headed to the door, looking back one last time and smiling.

He wanted to yell to her and apologize, for all the pain he would eventually bring her. For the mess of a man she'd meet in a few short months. Brooding pain in the ass he'd be for her. And yet, look how much better she made him, all without really trying, simply being herself. So grateful to have had her in his life.

_Moving on, I can forgive you all over again_

He stumbled back to the TARDIS, reality setting in. He didn't want to go. He listened so deeply to the Ood's song to him, singing him to his final sleep. But damnit it wasn't fair. All he wanted to do was to remain in this body, he didn't want to go. Just looking around his TARDIS with all his memories before him. Sarah Jane was right, he considered himself the loneliest man in all of the universes, but when push came to shove, he had the biggest family out there. And it gave him comfort to know that.

He looked at his hand, it would be any second now…could he forgive himself? For all the right and wrong he had done in this regeneration? It was hard to…but he had to for his sake. This version would soon die out and another man would walk away with his memories, and he didn't want that.

He panicked a bit…light beginning to expand, what if this new man wouldn't remember Rose? He didn't want to forget her…please he begged to someone, anyone. Don't let him forget her. He slipped his mind deeper into the Ood's song and let himself go. This new man would be born out of his reluctance to go. How would that affect things?

_Here and now, I feel that I'm embracing freedom_

_Even though I may be alone, but that's ok_

At first it was weird…he was worried he was a girl. Double-checking everything, fingers, legs and arms… all was good. So good he didn't realize the TARDIS erupting in flames behind him. His mind was racing, millions of thoughts forming and disappearing. Looking around he smiled. New adventures were about to begin and he was ready. Mentally he did not even worry about his previous regeneration's thoughts concerns or feelings. Things were too new.

_And looking out onto a different sky it seems so easy_

_Absence is never the answer, I know, but it serves as my shade _

Damn pool, how did the TARDIS land? Side, it had to be. He climbed out slowly looking at the sky it was night. How long had it been night for? Where was he, but there standing before him as a small girl in red rain boots. Adventures were about to begin he could feel it. It made him smile. Here in this strange place, alone under a new sky discoveries had to be made, adventures sought and the little girl looked up at him with awe.


	2. Chapter 2

_You can't see my eyes, you can't see my eyes_

_They don't see yours_

It was devastating, why did it have to happen now? She just came back to him; he couldn't be rid of her so easily. He was so shocked when she came back. She had made her choice so long ago. This is her family, her home her love and it wasn't going to change now. He accepted her back with open arms and together they were going to save the world, just like they always did. Shiver and Shake!

But it had started to go wrong, so quickly. Hold on tight, that's all she had to do as she watched the Daleks and Cybermen be pulled into the bright light of the Void. But something went wrong, and she had to fix it. It was her job, her side and she didn't even think twice. Watching the Doctor's horrified look as she tried to fix the lever. He was still holding on, and she knew, she looked at those brown eyes he would have trade places with her. But she started to slip, the Void was calling her name and she didn't think she could hold on much longer.

She slipped, she didn't mean for it to happen but she did and she was hurling towards the Void. She listened as he screamed her name over and over. But just as fast as the white light engulfed her, she stopped. She looked up at Pete. Watched as he gave a short nod to him and they were gone. The Void closed.

She looked around, same spot, same Torchwood, same wall. Everything was the same, but not. She was in shock as she went to the concrete wall. Already tears were falling. She walked to the wall, half hoping that on the other side, he was waiting for her, his big smile welcoming her, his brown eyes that would shine with the spark of adventure. Off they go, together.

But slowly the realization hit her, there were in another universe now. Adventures had to stop. She was alone and so far away from home. It hit her like a wall. Tears flowed so freely from her eyes. She pressed her ear to the wall in a small glimmer of hope that he could hear her. Hear her anguished sobs that wracked her body. How desperately she wanted to return to him, have his arms around her and just his closeness to be around her. The more she thought about it, the harder she cried. Cried for their history, cried for their present, how they were torn apart so unfairly, and cried harder for a future they were so cruelly denied.

'How long are you going to stay with me?'

'Forever.' She meant it, all of it. Even though the laws of mortality bound her, she had planned to make the most of all of their time together. Saving people, planets and the likes, that's what they did. And she loved it, every minute of it. He had showed her a better way of living her life. How could she be denied that now? Why was she denied that now? Was it her fault? She banged the wall numerous times. All she did was do the right thing in essence, it had broke, she fixed it and now that choice had cost her happiness.

Her tears so stained her face along with the black trails of the dampened mascara. Still with her ear to the wall, calling mentally for him to find her. He would, she knew it. He was the Doctor and he could anything at all. Because he was brilliant, as he had so often reminded her.

She longed to see him again, give anything at all to have his hand in hers, running away from danger, brown eyes fixed on her as she laughed, told him off or simply to comfort him. Once he had run off and abandoned her, leaving them stranded. Didn't think, just acted. She was devastated, she understood, fixed time cannot be rewritten but it still hurt. Five and a half hours she waited. And that's what she would wait now. Because he told her that was the amount of time to wait. And he would find her.

She slid down the wall in a crumpled mess and waited, still crying, still devastated.

_Hear me when I say, "They don't mind at all"_

She almost didn't want him to see her in this state of mental anguish. She was a proper mess. She constantly thought of him. What was he doing? Had he left Canary Warf? Or was he trying to truly show off his brilliance? What did his eyes say? Those brown eyes were the portals into his soul. She wiped her eyes, streaking the mascara over her face. She didn't want him to see her like this. Even if he could get her back, seeing her like this would drive him mad with guilt. He didn't deserve that. So instead she drew her knees to her chest and lay her head down on them. She closed her eyes and thought.

She remembered once, so long ago now, that those brown eyes used to be blue. When they were having a moment, how truly the pain exuded from behind them. That man was so inwardly guilty, damaged and distraught, all she wanted to do was to pull him into a hug and sooth his pain away. He would quietly brood his in own room that sometimes she looked for him.

It was the TARDIS who became her friend during this time. She was a trickster, his ship. And she had loved every moment of it. A sassy one, she had loved to explore, getting hopelessly lost, all the while talking to the ship. It had soon become second nature. While he had a mental connection to the TARDIS, she had to rely on more tangible sounds. The lights would flicker and humming sounds could be heard.

One night, after a rather painful decision he had made while on a planet she couldn't quite remember how to pronounce, the TARDIS had woken, her up out of a dead sleep. She remembered her door opening and across the hall was a door she had only ever seen once before. Ornate symbols were carved into them and she remembered being awestruck at their beauty. They were also on the TARDIS console, she deducted that they must have been a language. One only he knew.

She had gotten out of bed slowly and the TARDIS illuminated the door for her. Curiosity gnawed at her.

'I guess you want me to go in?' She saw the lights blink once. That meant yes, blink once for yes, twice for no. So slowly she turned the handled and opened it.

She remembered the room being magnificent, she looked up, and projections of stars, and planets covered the ceiling. Bookshelves everywhere, not as much as the library but still plentiful, covered the walls and a small sitting area was off in the corner. A simple desk, sheets of paper everywhere, some books on it. But there, on the bed sat a figure on the edge. It was quite the bed, off in the corner, with a simple side table on one side.

She remembered silently walking over and moving the leather jacket to the floor as she sat on the bed next to him. He was staring straight ahead, staring into nothing. She had grabbed his hand in hers, the only silent comfort she knew he would be comfortable with.

For a long while, nothing was said. She rested her head on his shoulder, having to make herself a bit taller to do so.

'I did the right thing…didn't I?' That's what he wanted. Reassurance. The lives he sacrificed to save the many lives of others. She pulled her head back to look at him.

'You know they were ok with it, they told you so. Looked you in the eye and said yes.' His hand tightened around hers.

'But when has anyone really accepted death?' He finally looked at her, pain etched across his features. How she ached for him. So much responsibility had fallen to him. She tried her words carefully.

'Death is simply passing from one room into another, the journey doesn't end, Doctor. A new one simply takes its place.' The ends justified the means, but she didn't tell him that. He must have thought of that too because the next thing he said startled her.

'Thank you Rose…' The light behind his eyes grew a bit brighter and she knew she had done well. She smiled and returned her head to his shoulder.

She didn't remember when she woke up how she returned to her room. The TARDIS cheered for her, and she knew that the ship was happy, because like her she loved the Doctor too. But when she opened the door, the wooden door had vanished, leaving a wall in its place.

_It's the rain that I hear coming, not a stranger or a ghost_

_It's the quiet of a storm approaching that I fear the most_

'Rose, it's time to go…' The voice came from Mickey, crouching down beside her. She wiped her eyes again. She must look like an utter mess.

'Mickey you know I have to wait five and a half hours for him. That's what he said, remember?'

'Rose, it's been six hours…' Mickey held her hand as a new wave a pain danced in her eyes. Tears fell again and she broke down into sobs. He helped her up, he felt her resistance, this was the last connection to the Doctor and she was so desperate to cling to whatever remained of him. He kept his arm around her shoulders as he guided her out of Torchwood and into the street.

Rose looked around, it was windy, and it had force, kicking up the discarded leaves around them. She looked at the sky, blackened storm clouds loomed. She could smell the inevitable rain. Maybe this universe wasn't so bad; after all it definitely portraying what was in her heart correctly. What would she do if she needed him? What would she do?

A sleek looking car pulled up and before it even properly stopped her mother jumped out. She silently pulled her into a hug and kissed her head as she heard her daughter cry. Pete got out and stood beside Mickey, both silently accepting what she could not yet. It was over.

_It's the pain that I hear coming_

_The slightest crystal tear, drops to the ground in silence_

_When my love is near_

'Rose…' Pete started before Jackie shot him a look to keep quiet. He may have not known what it felt like to have your heart broken, but she did and now Rose was experiencing it as well. It would be the hardest day of her life, and all she needed was time. Jackie guided Rose into the car, she didn't put up much of a fight and Jackie got in with her. Mickey and Pete followed suit. Time to go home.

Rose went with Jackie as she showed Rose her new room. Together she sat on the bed. Rose had quieted herself; small hiccups came from here every now and then. Jackie kissed her head. She hated to see Rose like this; she'd never seen her so upset. But she knew that the Doctor meant everything to her. After all she had told her that the Doctor showed her a better way of living. And who could argue with that.

'I don't even have anything to remember him by mum,' Rose said suddenly. 'I have the key to the TARDIS, but nothing else…no pictures or anything of him.'

'You have your memories of him Rose, that's worth more than any picture could do justice.'

'I want something physical…' Rose looked at her mum. Suddenly Jackie widened her eyes and stood up. She reached over Rose to grab the jacket she had previously been wearing. On the inside pocket she pulled out something, and Rose struggled to see what it was.

'I must be daft, I completely forgot about it. Look.'

Rose carefully accepted the object that Jackie handed to her. She turned it over and gasped. It was a photo. Of them. Of them! Rose gasped and her eyes shone once more, and then, ever so faintly, a small smile followed by a lone tear that slide down her cheek.

'Mum, where did you find this?'

'Remember that Christmas after he got sick, with whatever it was called. Anyway, I figured he wouldn't have come for dinner after you know, because he was dead set against anything domestic so I grabbed the camera, memories you know Rose.

'Well when he showed up in the fancy, pinstriped brown suit and that jacket all full of himself because he just saved the Earth. Well, I knew you didn't think I was looking but when you ran over to hug him and you hung on there for a bit I turned the camera flash off and took it when you both weren't looking.'

'But…why didn't you show me?'

'Oh I meant to, but I must have forgotten. When I actually got the print of the picture, along with some others, I stuffed that one in my jacket here to show you later. But I must have forgotten. And then the ghosts starting showing up…well now. What matters is that here it is, safe and sound. Bit crinkled, sorry for that Rose.'

Rose flung herself at her mother and hugged her so tight. Jackie continued to rub her back until Rose pulled away. Her eyes showed her thankfulness a thousand times over. Jackie stood up to give Rose some time alone with her memories, she kissed her head one last time before she shut the door. Rose lay down on the bed and just let her memories engulf her.

_Darling, when did you fall? When was it over?_

_Darling when, when did you fall? When was it over?_

This was it, it really was over. It had been two days since Canary Warf, maybe instead of five and half hours maybe it was a week now, or five days…But Rose knew she was kidding herself. He wasn't coming back to her. Maybe he really couldn't. Maybe she really was stuck here. Forever. Forever without her Doctor. What a hollow, empty and half-life it would be. No more adventures, meeting new people, seeing new things it was all gone. Why did it have to go so wrong for them? Why did she have to let go? What if she had just held one for seconds more, how would life be different then? She had devastated two lives because she couldn't do a simple task to hold on tight. Now she had just broken three hearts. She was angry with herself. Angry she had failed.

There was a soft knock on her door and Jackie came in with a small portion of breakfast. She wasn't hungry but she had to eat something, her mum was worried about her. Jackie sat on the bed and held her hand. Rose went in for a hug, because she needed to feel the closeness of someone. The one person she wanted was so far away now.

_It's marching through my door now, the stony cold of lonesome_

_A bell tolls for my heart and then my lonesome song begins_

It started with a small voice in her mind. Calling out to her softly. She'd wake up, unable to place the voice and feeling confused and scared. Every night it was the same thing, the voice calling her. Wanting her. Pleading with her. Telling her to find me, follow my voice. Then one night it clicked. She shot up. It was him. Finally he had found her. Time to go home. She woke her mother up and told her to pack. They were leaving tonight. She roused the whole house from their slumber. They were confused, but they obliged. And then they drove. Drove for hours, drove for days. Finally the realization dawned on the rest of them. He had called for her, and she was going to meet him. They drove so far they ended up in Norway, on a beach in the wee hours before the sun would rise.

Rose looked around feeling uneasy. Bad Wolf Bay. It was another sign. The words seemed to follow them everywhere. Scattered throughout time and space. Was it another message?

Rose moved her hair out of her face, it was windy, and the sea was choppy. Everything about this place screamed to her that it was unsettling.

Where was he? She couldn't anything but wild wind, no sounds of the TARDIS and no man standing on this god-forsaken beach. She looked around again, starting to feel abandoned once more. When she turned around again she gasped. There, ever so faintly, he was there. That wasn't right, why was he like that? Wasn't he here? What did this mean?

_It's marching through my door now, the stony cold of lonesome_

_A bell tolls for my heart and now my lonesome song begins_

She walked so gingerly towards him, but he didn't move towards her. It only increased her fears. Something wasn't right…

'Where are you?' She asked, she didn't see TARDIS anywhere.

'Inside the TARDIS. There's one tiny little gap in the universe left, just about to close. And it takes a lot of power to send this projection. I'm in orbit around a supernova.'

His smile was pained; it hurt to speak to her. But it felt so good to hear his voice again.

'I'm burning up a sun just to say good bye.'

She smiled a bit as he said that. But it quickly vanished as he explained that he couldn't come through, not now, not ever. He would shatter both worlds and cause the worlds to collapse. No, no this wasn't what she wanted to hear. She looked at him, her heart breaking and tears started to fall.

His brown eyes held so much devotion for her and were engulfed in so much devastation and heartbreak, it was everything in her not to cry out. To comfort him. Like she had done so many times before.

_Darling, when did you cry? I couldn't hear you_

_Darling when, when did you cry? I couldn't hear you_

She looked closer at him as he was still talking. Two minutes, that was all they had. His eyes looked tired and bloodshot. He wasn't ok. He was just as broken as she was. The only difference was, they didn't have each other to help pick up the pieces.

So many times she thought about reaching out. She had so many things to tell him, so many things. All buzzing in her head, so many thoughts forming and incoherent sentences. Not knowing where to start first, she picked the most important one, the one she thought about telling him numerous times, the one she knew would make him most uncomfortable, the one most precious to their relationship. But they were going to be separated forever now, so what the hell then.

Trying to steady herself and attempted to restart her sentence more than once. She took a deep breath and exposed her heart.

'I-I love you…' There she said it. And he didn't make a face, recoil away or run off scared.

'Quite right, too,' he grinned. She couldn't help herself, but she smiled too. Always cheeky, even at a time like this. But then the smile vanished. And he looked serious. 'I suppose, if it is my last chance to say it, Rose Tyler-'

Her eyes widened, and her heart sank. He had vanished, gone. Her shock slowly ebbed away and their two minutes were up, expired. She tried to steady her breathing and was finding increasingly difficult to do that. So she ran. Into her mother's open arms and broke down again. Why, why were the universes so cruel to them! What had they done? They were saviors of the world sure, but they were so much more to each other. He needed her. He was a lonely person who needed her because she needed him also. Why did they do this? What was she going to do now?

_I suppose it is the price of falling in love_

Sometimes, when you fall in love, it doesn't work out the way you plan. And while their love story was anything but conventional, she chose to believe that he would say those final words to her. Imagine it sure, but one day it hit her. Weeks after the events on Bad Wolf Bay she made a choice. She would fight. Fight for the right to see him again, fight for the right to hold his hand and run off into danger unknown and fight to have him finish those words. Universes be damned. To hell with them. She was not going down without a fight.

_I suppose it is the price of falling in love_

Because that's the price you pay when you meet the Doctor. She was fundamentally changed by him. And he had given a taste of something more. In turn she had fallen in love with him and he with her, so she hoped. But he was flawed, death followed him and he had a temper that was remembered in legends. A name that sent chills through his enemies. But she was there to stop him, and pull him back. And he needed her, and she him.

When she started working for Torchwood One it did help her move on. She was still meeting new people, of all kinds. Working along side Mickey and her father, it was nice, a nice taste of normalcy. But deep down she needed more. But she shoved it down. Concentrated on her work, but was excited with the Dimension Canon. Bad things were starting to happen. It was the darkness; she could feel something was different. Then reports started to come in. What was happening? She volunteered to investigate. And they found out. It was devastating. She had to warn him. The Doctor, he had to know. Or Donna, she knew of her. Either would do, the darkness was coming.

_It's the rain that I hear coming, not a stranger, not a ghost_

_Of the quiet of a storm approaching that I fear the most_

This reality was false. She had an alternate reality formed around her. She needed to know. And so she met the most important woman in all of creation more than once. She jumped several demsions, so many timelines to find him. Then in 2007, when she landed, she found Donna Noble. But what she had missed was the Doctor. She had watched an ambulance drive away with Donna standing there. Oh god, was it him. He defeated the Racnoss, but Donna had pulled him back from the edge. There was no one there now. She didn't believe that he could die, but if he died before regeneration could take hold that was it. No, she cursed, the universes again be damned. She had no time to grieve. She could set it right, but she needed Donna's help. Her universe was faster than this one, and she already saw the devastation, they could things. They could. But she needed patience.

In 2008, she had saved the Noble one again by telling her to get out of London and she survived the crash of the Titanic. Rose had hoped that this would open her eyes, but she needed more. Finally, Donna followed her after three weeks; just like she said once the stars began to go out. And she took her to her base to show her the Time Beetle. This was it; Donna knew what she had to do to restore the timeline. Rose reassured her as best she could. She was so important and she didn't even believe it. She pleaded with the TARDIS one more time to give her strength. And as usual, she didn't fail them.

Donna did what she needed to do, at the cost of her own life in that timeline but it worked. She was there for her as she was dying and Rose whispered the two words she knew he would understand. She was getting closer. She could feel it. Her patience would pay off. And she hoped that he would sill want her. She had changed, she hoped not a lot but she did have a rather hardened exterior now. She hoped he liked what he saw. Bad Wolf was coming home, home to her Oncoming Storm.

_It's the pain that I hear coming_

_The slightest crystal tear drops to the ground in silence_

_When my love is near_

She didn't believe it. She made it home, back to her own reality. She wanted to scream out her victory but the world was slowly shattering around her. There would be time later. She wandered aimlessly around the streets; they had transported him here, but where. Where?! Then, there she heard his voice. Her heart leapt for joy. Now finally, she was home. And when she saw him she froze. He was with Donna who spotted her instantly. The Doctor pleading with Donna for more information, anything she could remember about what Rose had told her.

'Why don't you ask her yourself?' Rose smiled at that comment, but she saw the Doctor remained in the same spot.

Well if wasn't going to do anything but stand around, she would go to him, and she ran. Trying to cradle the gun, she finally dumped it as she saw him running just as fast as she was to get to her first.

They didn't see it until it was too late. Then he was on the ground, Jack killed the Dalek instantly, but it was still too late. No! No, not now. Why now? Why, mere steps from each other. She held his face and smiled at him, tears already falling. She had so much to say to him. Again the universes granted them such a short time, why did they not want them to be together?

Jack arrived at her side, grabbing Donna and telling them to get him into the TARDIS, they knew what was going to happen next. But still she didn't want it to. She knew it'd save his life, but cost him everything. Rose brushed away her tears, Jack moving her and Donna back.

Then the golden glow enveloped him, she was so nervous to meet this new man. What if he didn't remember her? She turned herself into Jack who simply pulled her tighter.

Something was different; he was glowing, but then projected the light into a hand in a jar. A hand in a jar? What was that? Before she could process it fully the light dissipated. The Doctor was still himself. His body unchanged. She was shocked. He only healed himself and directed the energy into his hand. It was his after all. Then it hit her, the one that was lobbed off on Christmas so many years ago.

But he enveloped her in a huge hug and everything was forgotten. She was home, she fought like hell to come back, and tears threatened to fall. But she held them back. His brown eyes, so full of life and love again. The pain that was there so minimal again. His hand found hers once more. Time to save the universe. Allons-y! The TARDIS erupted in smiles.

_It's marching through my door now, the stony cold of lonesome_

_A bell tolls for my heart and now my lonesome song will end_

He was dropping her off in Norway? In the parallel universe? Whatever for? She watched her mother walk out into the sunlight. The beach was so different this time as she walked out. She looked around. Everything was calm now. So different…

She watched the Meta Crisis follow her, but her Doctor, he didn't. She was confused. Why was this, didn't he want her to come with him? No… why was he rejecting her? She changed that much? All of his companions, especially Martha, so surprised she was back. She found him, and he beamed with pride. But now, his eyes held pain again, but love was there too.

The Meta Crisis followed her as went back onto the beach. She just stared. No, this was not happening, she was going to be with him after all, she had promised forever. Now she could give it to him. Because she had worked so hard…

He was a coward, he always would be. He offered a feeble excuse to explain himself out of this moment. She knew he destroyed the Dalek fleet, but she didn't realize he considered genocide. He explained that his Meta Crisis had be been born on the battlefield. Revenge driven, he was dangerous to be left to his own devices and he was entrusting him to her. He was damaged, just as he had been when they first met. And look what she had done to him. She made him into a better man. She did that, her love did that. And he knew that she could do the same for the Meta Crisis.

No, she couldn't accept that. She was so confused at his words. She wanted her Doctor! But as the Meta Crisis grabbed her hand, she felt comforted. But she also saw the jealousy in the Doctor's eyes. He did love her. He explained that he had the same memories, thoughts and feelings. But he wasn't the one who had actually experience them with her.

But Donna told him to instruct her on another important aspect. She turned to him, so confused. He was half human. One heart, couldn't regenerate and only one life. She felt his chest, it was true. It complicated things so much more now. What would she do?

'I'd like to spend it with you, if you'd like…' Her heart swelled…small amounts of hope were being resorted. There was only one thing she could think of to test his memories. The worst day of her life.

'Does it need saying?' She was angry, it did. She needed to know! Know she was loved in return. Coward. She turned to the Meta Crisis and he leaned in and whispered the words.

'I love you.'

It sounded so right coming from him. She acted on impulse and pulled him to a kiss. So joyous when he returned her affections.

When they broke apart, he was gone. Again…no proper goodbye.

_Darling when did we fall? When was it over?_

_Darling when, when did we fall? When was it over?_

When did he consider their time worthless? When did he decide to leave her with him? Was it with Davros on his ship? What changed things? Was it truly the Dalek massacre? Or did he love her so much that he was giving the one thing he couldn't give her himself. A life, a life with him. In a sense. Again, now she couldn't see him…forever.

_I suppose it is the price of falling in love_

_I fear that it's the price of falling in love_

Hand in hand they walked together. He ran away, but had given her a precious gift. And while she worried that he wouldn't recover from this, that he would be alone at some point. She didn't want that for him. She wanted him to find someone. He deserved happiness too, because he was worth it. So, worth it. And he needed to realize that.

_I fear that it's the price of falling in love_

_I fear that it's the price of falling in love_

_I fear that it's the price of falling in love_

She looked up at the Meta Crisis and he simply smiled. She saw the light in his eyes and she felt slightly more at ease. She had to try…for him. Because this was his gift to her. One tolerated a world of demons for the sake of an angel. And the universes owed so much to him, and she would never forget him. Because he made her life better, and his story would live on…

* * *

I hope you all enjoyed the story, it's helping with my writer's block. I hope I portrayed the characters well enough. Thanks for reading.


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